Break From Internet
The date on the last post before this one says that it was published on the 13th of February last year but that is very much untrue. Yes it was written before that and completely ready to be published on that date, but for some unknown reason I stopped. I stopped posting and checking on Mastodon a week or so later as well. Completely stopped social media, as that was all social media I had besides just messaging individual friends.
The unknown reason is not exactly that unknown because I know that my brain just works like this; some people have very few interests but can dedicate their entire life to those things and know all about them, but I have a lot of interests that I can get into and fall out of without notice. I feel like I’ve written about this before.
Just a week ago I was considering just nuking my self-hosted server at home and the stuff I got on VPSes in the cloud because it would save some money and hey I’m not really doing anything with it besides maybe listen to the music I got on there. And then, I don’t even know what triggered it, but the day before yesterday I got right back into it, updated some servers and services and more importantly jumped from Debian 10 to 11 and fixed some things that I meant to fix about a year ago. I am making plans and setting reminders for tomorrow even while writing this in the middle of the night because I’ll forget to do it otherwise but I am actually invested again. Weird. Oh yeah and I kind of lied, I have still been scrolling Reddit endlessly and I will get back to why I’m mentioning this soon because of reasons.
Between the ‘last’ post here and today, there was a little time of year called summer. I had a good one. Worked at the same place I’ve been working for a while, drank a lot of cold beers in the evening sun after work with the best people I could find and ate a lot of nachos sitting at the lakeside. One of the animals I’ve been around for 5 years had to be put down so that was a real fun experience. And the boss didn’t even care enough to show up and support the people that were metaphorically losing a co-worker they’ve been working with for 20 years. That’s about all I feel comfortable saying about that. He’s a dickhead.
But for a while the whole covid thing didn’t seem to exist, masks were mandatory inside at first but when numbers went down masks became optional, more people were allowed in and everything was going great. Everyone was getting vaccinated and that seemed to work, wonderful. I was half afraid it’d be like September of 2020 where numbers suddenly spiked when schools opened after the summer break but that didn’t happen this September. It happened in October, it was way worse and is still going. I am now on arm-stab number 3. There could be an immense number of 5g chips in my body right now.
Where was I?
Right, I didn’t completely stop using social media if you count Reddit as a social media. I kind of don’t because I don’t talk to people, just look at posts and scroll for way too long and get angry or sad when stupid stuff comes by. But I’ve been filtering out some bad shit and replacing it with cat subs. I think my favourite would be /r/catswhoyell. One thing I also ran in to was the antiwork sub and that has piqued my interest. My brain has been grinding and hurting about capitalism and the evil it brings with it for years now and everything I heard and learned about the world has made the grinding worse. The antiwork sub has driven the grinding noise into overdrive but also alleviates it. People pushing back against abusive management is just so fucking satisfying. My old workplace was fine, most of my direct co-workers were great but my manager and bosses were dicks. Every single one of the 5 years I’ve been there I’ve had at least one big argument with my direct manager, going over my supervisors head. Twice this last year. And then there’s the general disagreements me and my co-workers had with how the company was handling certain things.
Right now I’m very opposed to getting a job in the field I went to school for, which is education. Don’t see me working my ass off for 0 appreciation from anyone involved, a massive covid risk and low pay. At the moment I’m working from home for a call centre and trying to find my feet in starting a little webdesignish shop for small businesses. When I’m my own boss, I can’t fight with my boss. I decide who my co-workers are going to be, if any, long term perhaps. I decide if I don’t want to work with a certain client any more. I decide that no, you’re not going to treat my partner or employee or me like shit, fuck you and get out of my office.
The plan is to not have to put up with any shit. Of course there will be disagreements with clients and there might also be people that are not 100% pleased with the work I do but that’s fine. If you talk to me as if I’m a human being I can still deal with you.
But trying to find my way in how to do this is challenging. I’ve been doing some very small projects on and off for years now but never really thought about doing it as a job. The first kind of milestone of trying to find a name to tie everything under has been very hard. I just want to have a domain name to link my nameservers and email to but boy is it hard. And no I’m not stagnant while figuring that out, I do have a small testing/development environment already set up. But it does feel like I just need a name. When I have that I can go to the bank and say ‘yo this is my company give me an account’ because I do want to have my personal and business money separate.
I also kind of feel like trying to set up my own business isn’t really the way to deal with hating capitalism and I should probably become an anarchist or a communist but hey. Small steps.
That’s about it. I’m writing this at 01:15 at night and it is definitely not going to be online soon because I am going to sleep but hey maybe this post will not have a sequel in 11 months. Maybe it’ll be a bit less. I did have plans for this site. Once.